A little bit of venting...

So about 1 1/2 years ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. For info on what it is feel free to go here: http://women.webmd.com/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-topic-overview
It's been really hard but lately I am getting a little overwhelmed with it. My skin is terrible, my moods are crazy, I have no energy and my weight is out of control and I have really embarrassing facial hair. I feel like I am going to lose my mind some days..
I have tried to lose the weight but I always give up when I don't see results. I have no will power.
I think what bothers me most is that I feel like it keeps me from being a good mom. Arbor sits inside all day long and watches TV or just walks around the house. We rarely go outside because I just don't have the energy and I am embarrassed about my weight. I don't feed him very well either. He eats Mac and Cheese most days for Lunch and dinner and drinks alot of milk. It just breaks my heart that he has to live this way all because of me. I want to change so bad but I don't think it will ever happen.
I also feel like people don't understand what it's like living with this. I feel like it has destroyed my life but other people don't see it as being serious.
I get to go to the Dr. next month and start getting treatment for it and I hope it helps. PCOS is not curable but it is treatable. I really want to get healthy. I want to get healthy for Arbor and Johnny and for myself.
Well.. I feel a little better now that I vented a little... :)

Tagged!

So I promised myself I woul never do these! But I am bored..

8 Things I am passionate about:

1. Johnny.. I love him more and more everyday!

2. Arbor. I love that baby so much!

3. My family

4. Books

5. My friends

6. My church

7. Making Arbor and Johnny happy.

8. Cooking

8 Phrases I say Often:

1. Love you!

2. Come here guy!

3. What do you want for dinner?

4. Are your arms and legs painted on. (thanks Dad!)

5. Are you ok?

6. What's up?

7. That's freakin sweet!

8. Well that's booyeah!

8 Things I want to do Before I Die:

1. Go to Rome.

2. Make some Scrapbooks

3. Learn to cake decorate.

4. Get sealed in the temple.

5. Lose lots of weight.

6. Travel

7. See Arbor grow up and get married.

8. Meet all of my grandchildren.

8 Things I want or Need:

1. Buy a House

2. Lose weight

3. Be happy

4. See my family

5. A vacation.

6. A hot date with Johnny

7. Go outside with Arbor more.

8. Cuddle with my boys.

8 (or 5) People I Tag:

1. Lyndsy

2.Cali

3. Kara

4. Athena

5. Michelle

New things!

Soo not much is new just a few fun little things.. Arbor is running around like the crazy little baby he is! I love to just sit and watch him play. He has started to pick up my cell phone and put it on the back of his head and say "Hi". It's adorable! He also likes to comb his own hair! He is getting so big!

We also got a new mattress! We bought our old mattress almost 5 years ago for 300 bucks.. It was in pretty bad shape. I love my new one. I sink into and sleep really good now! We also got new Bed Set. It's really pretty and I love it!

I finally got glasses. I am near sighted so driving and watching t.v. wasn't really fun because I had to squint to see! But I like them. I can finally see the speed limit signs! Ha ha good thing!

Arbor's First Birthday!

I can't believe my baby is 1! Well he won't be one until the 29th but we had his birthday party today. I never thought this day would come! It was kind of a hard day for me. I just don't seem to get along very good with Johnny's family and I have a hard time being around them and they were over here all day long.. But Arbor was so excited for all of his presents and his cake. I made the Mickey Mouse cake for him and gave him an ear to eat. He dug into it! He got lot's of cool toys but was really excited for the play Lap Top his daddy got him.

I can't belive my baby is 1!

Cake!

So I recently decided that I was going to start decorating cakes. I decided to start practicing with Arbor's birthday cake. He loves Mickey Mouse so that's what I made. I have never decorated cakes before and I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I even gave up on the first night I started it because I couldn't get his face color right! Well after some thought I told myself I just needed to finish it cause practice makes perfect. So I finished today and I am really happy I did because I am pretty proud of the outcome! This is just a practice for Arbor's birthday cake, the next one I will do will hopefully turn out a little better! Next I am going to start experimenting with Fondant! I hope to get good enough to go on one of those Food Network Challenge cake shows!

Remembering 9/11

'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL'


You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news

On September 11, 2001. Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.'

I held his fingers steady as he dialed.

I gave him the peace to say,
'
Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children.

I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home
that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help.
'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said. 'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls.

I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer.

I was with the crew as they were overtaken.
I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan .

I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.

Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face.

I knew every name - though not all know Me.

Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor..

Some sought Me with their last breath.

Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... This way... Take my hand.'

Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day.

You may not know why, but I do.

However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you.

But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well.

Seek Me now while I may be found.

Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

Denver Colorado

We went to Denver for Labor day this past weekend. Johnny's brother lives there. He and his wife just had their second baby so we went to go see her! It was a 9 and 1/2 hour drive! We left at 7 pm on Friday and finally made it to our Hotel in Denver around 5 am! It was a long drive! Arbor was so good! We bought a dvd player that could be hooked up to the back of the head rest so he could watch his cartoons. It worked out so good! He didn't cry at all! He tried to sleep but the poor guy was so uncomfortable. When I finaly got him to sleep in the hotel it was around 6:30 am. He only slept until 10:30 am! He was so tired all day long! He did sleep a good 10 hours the next day though! On Sunday we went to the Denver Zoo. When we got there it was raining so the animals all went in. We did get to see some Monkies, Elephants, Giraffees and lots of birds. Arbor loved it!

He also had a good time playing with his cousin Alexis, who is almost 2. Alexis loved to give Arbor hugs and kisses and even tried to ride on his back a few times! They had alot of fun together. Arbor got a little jealous when I would hold 4 month old Anya. He would try to climb on my lap and say no no no! He didn't want to share his mommy!

It was so good to see Johnny's brother Zane and his wife Shannon. We don't get to see them much. It was also good to get away but I am so glad to be home now!