Friday, October 24, 2008

A little bit of venting...

So about 1 1/2 years ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. For info on what it is feel free to go here:
It's been really hard but lately I am getting a little overwhelmed with it. My skin is terrible, my moods are crazy, I have no energy and my weight is out of control and I have really embarrassing facial hair. I feel like I am going to lose my mind some days..
I have tried to lose the weight but I always give up when I don't see results. I have no will power.
I think what bothers me most is that I feel like it keeps me from being a good mom. Arbor sits inside all day long and watches TV or just walks around the house. We rarely go outside because I just don't have the energy and I am embarrassed about my weight. I don't feed him very well either. He eats Mac and Cheese most days for Lunch and dinner and drinks alot of milk. It just breaks my heart that he has to live this way all because of me. I want to change so bad but I don't think it will ever happen.
I also feel like people don't understand what it's like living with this. I feel like it has destroyed my life but other people don't see it as being serious.
I get to go to the Dr. next month and start getting treatment for it and I hope it helps. PCOS is not curable but it is treatable. I really want to get healthy. I want to get healthy for Arbor and Johnny and for myself.
Well.. I feel a little better now that I vented a little... :)


Kara said...

OH honey I am so sorry! I know how you feel. I show the signs of it but haven't been officially diagnosed (just talked to my doctor alot about it) However my friend has it and the meds will help! At least they helped her! Hang in there! Love ya!

The Johnsons said...

This makes me sad. I have been feeling the weight thing lately too! We saw some people from the ward last night, and I was embarrased by how fat I must look to them compared to when I was young. I always feel the same way, I will do something about...someday. Maybe we should start a goup diet, exercise thing??